Why I became a life coach

I was asked a question which really hit home for me.

I knew what I wanted in life. I was in my early thirties, living a comfortable life with a good job. Of course I had doubts about my life from time to time, but I never felt too downhearted about it. Then I had a career consulting session, which I wasn’t inclined to take too seriously.

But it was during the CTI course that I was asked a question by the trainer which completely changed my life. I don’t remember the details of the session so well. For sure, there were things I wanted to do in life, but they were all a bit half-baked and vague. I think we were talking about my reasons for not doing them at the time. Then the coach asked me a short, but very profound, question.

“Hashi – who is the most important person in your life?”

・・・・・silence

Naturally, I felt inside that I was the most important person in my life. But for some strange reason, heart and body kept quiet and I didn’t answer. A strange vision came to mind that I was just playing a supporting role on the stage of my own life. I couldn’t really think who the main person was any more.

How was I living up to my company’s and other people’s expectations of me? Was I failing in this? What I wanted to do had been subordinated. It dawned on me that, without really realizing it, I had already given up my role as the main person in my own life.

What do you want to do in life? What is important to you?

From that point onwards, I really began to think about what I wanted to do in life and what was important to me. I had been unaware of it, but I realized that up until then I only thought in terms of what I could do, and what I wasn’t a failure at (work, career, especially). But finding what I actually wanted to do wasn’t so easy (nothing in life ever is!) With a few twists and turns along the way, I was able to make progress, always keeping these questions in mind: “What do you want to do in life? What is important to you?”

Not everything goes as planned, but, as far as I am concerned, life has become more interesting. So, through this single question, the direction of my life has changed significantly. This experience was the reason I decided to try being a coach.

The coach’s journey

Many clients begin by discussing the most obvious topics and those events they can best relate to. As a client, this helps you to understand.
The key role for the coach is to support you as you live your life, and to show you the way. You begin to appreciate your purpose in life, your values and the preconceptions which have held you back, your fears and emotions. You learn from this, you reinvent yourself, you choose your own life, and you move forward. This is the “learning journey” that the coach provides. Therefore it is not just about enjoying yourself. You will also need to confront some of the harsh realities of life. But because you are in a safe and secure environment, you can confront the truth with courage. That is the appeal of coaching.

Coaching is putting into practice

One’s own values, preconceptions, emotions, what you want to be, how you can fashion your own circumstances – all of these are important. With this in mind, put these into practice in your daily life. It’s easy to say, but very difficult to do. That’s because we always bracket everything as either good or bad. Nature and the power of resistance work against change.

“Now is not the time”. “What do we do if we fail?” “What about money?” etc. etc. It’s not that we are flawed through any particular fault of our own. But if you follow negative thoughts such as these, then the change you desire won’t happen. From my own experience, doing all of this on your own is difficult. Accumulating experience and putting this into effect is what coaching is all about.