Life coaching deals with our concrete actions (Doing), as well as, so to speak, our fundamental aims and desires (Being). For example, say we want to act out and lead an independent life. “I want to be free to do as I please” or ”I want to express myself more” or “ I want a thrill I have never had before!”: by saying these things, you will actually start behaving as if you are already independent. It is not just about “Doing”: we also need to satisfy our sense of “Being” – this is so important in relation to fulfilment in life.
“We have the success to show for our actions – so why don’t we have a feeling of fulfilment?” This is something we can all relate to.
The people who know us best of all are ourselves. That is clear. But, at the same time, just knowing ourselves isn’t everything. If a client has potential and capabilities which he really hadn’t realized before, then something he used to think of as a weakness could actually become a strength, and something which can help him through difficult periods in future. Through coaching, the client is always searching for and discovering himself.
There is always some root cause behind our everyday assumptions and preconceptions. Even if some of these preconceptions help us, there are times when they hold us back with a lack of awareness.
“I hate my job”.
“I never have any money”.
“The family should be my top priority”
Engaging in a dialogue with the coach helps the client become aware of what has held him back in the past. This gives him the support he needs to make decisions for himself.
“It’s so busy at work at the moment!” “It’s just one thing after another!” We’ve all had this feeling. If you are too busy to begin with, by the time you realize it, you won’t really know where you are. In order to get to where you want to be, it’s vital to know everything about where you are at the moment.
For example, if you are driving and you stop for a while, you check where you are and make sure the car is OK (Have I got enough petrol? Is the engine OK?) Then you go on to your destination. The dialogue with your coach lets you focus on what is going on in your life right now.
The client-coach relationship is an equal partnership, aiming to satisfy the client’s needs and goals in life. The coach is actively involved in the client’s life, as if it were his own, and offers his full support and encouragement. The coach believes fully in the client’s capabilities and makes no critical judgement of him.